A family-run burial under a tight timeframe.

A family says advance organization and some luck was required for a family-managed burial of their mother within a tight timeframe at Makara natural cemetery. 

The mother died on a Thursday evening at Mary Potter Hospice, and the only burial slot available was on Saturday morning – giving 24 hours to organize the death certificate, book the plot and service location, and let everyone know.

The son, Tomlin, says that since you cannot book ahead for death, the key is to know the plan when it happens.

“Our family has experience in managing burials ourselves, so we were confident when Mum said she wanted the same, for a burial at Makara Cemetery.

“Though she lived in Coromandel we were fortunate that she could get to the hospice in Wellington when she fell very ill. We had time to plan, because we wouldn’t have time when she died.  

“We got a casket from Return to Sender before she died, because that’s something you can’t get in a day if you’re doing the funeral yourself.  

“When she died after two weeks at the hospice, we knew the round of calls we needed to make; to book the grave to be dug, the venue for the funeral service and wake, and who needed to be informed.”

Tomlin says a challenge arose immediately when they discovered the only available time for the burial was mid-morning Saturday. The Council digs the grave, supplies boards to stabilize the grave edge and ropes for lowering the casket, and tidies up after the family fills in the grave and leaves.

“We had to move even faster than planned. We were lucky that the Hospice staff were so knowledgeable and helpful. They took care of the death certificate and other paperwork. We had to reach out wider for a service venue, and Old Saint Pauls in Wellington city was very accommodating.”

Another challenge was the Kowhai sapling Mum had chosen to have buried at the head of the grave. One couldn’t be moved from the Wellington nursery to the cemetery that day. Fortunately the Council found one they could get to graveside in time.    

Tomlin says the experience showed that people should be prepared to think ahead and outside the box when under time pressure and managing the funeral service yourself.

“In hindsight we should have had the Kowhai ready and on hand, just as we had casket.”

Although an advance visit to the cemetery had been planned, the circumstances prevented it. But Tomlin and the mourners were impressed with the site.

“The one thing you can’t plan is the weather, but luck was with us. It was a good day, and the cemetery was beautiful – everything Mum and we hoped for. She was a keen gardener and helped set up a nature reserve in Island Bay. A grave amongst the bush regenerating at Makara made sense to her. And for us at graveside, the natural burial was a loving tribute to her.